You know what this blog is missing? A good rant. Why do people insist on saying stupid things to pregnant women? I think if you’ve never been pregnant then you shouldn’t be able to talk to anyone that is without a license. It’s simply exhausting day in and day out having to deal with the same comments coming at you from every direction. I know I won’t remember all of them but here are just a few that I’ve come across:
1. My face is up here buddy!
Seriously? I know my ever protruding belly freaks you out a little bit (especially guys) but could you at least glance up at my face every once and a while when you’re talking to me? I will start staring at your beer gut if you don’t stop.
2. For the last time NO, I HAVE NOT HAD ANY WEIRD CRAVINGS!
I crave good tasting food just like every other normal person. Yes, I like pickles…..I always have. I do not make my husband drive across town at 2 am because I want a certain brand of ice cream. I don’t feel the need to indulge your nosiness by making up some strange concoction of food so that you feel you have another reason to treat me like a freak. Yes, my eating habits have changed….I’m growing another life inside of me. I have to eat every 2 hours or I will start to shut down. Just let me eat and leave me alone!
3. No, I’m not getting the H1N1 vaccine.
Why is this any of your business in the first place. I have my reasons and I’m not getting it. Don’t tell me that because I’m pregnant if I don’t get vaccinated that I will die a horribly painful death. Stop listening to the media for a second…go wash your hands…and chill out.
4. I don’t want to hear your labor horror stories.
It’s not that your stories scare me – they don’t. It’s just that the birth of your child is supposed to be this wonderful experience and you’re taking the magic out of it. No one goes through it the same way. You’re a downer….stop it.
5. It’s my child…yes, I will give it a name.
But I will take my sweet time doing it. Why do you need to know anyway? It’s my kid, not yours. I know it’s fun to know what a baby’s name is going to be but you will live another day if we don’t tell you right away. It won’t be a secret forever….kid has to come out sometime.
6. Did you seriously just ask me if I’m having twins?
Ok, there is never a polite way to tell someone you think they are showing way more that you would expect at that point in their pregnancy…..so why say anything? Don’t try to sugar coat it by saying “but it’s just your tummy, you’re the same everywhere else.” It’s too late, the damage has been done – I feel like a fat cow.
7. You didn’t “just know” that we were having a boy.
You guessed right. Don’t act like you have x-ray vision or psychic powers. You had a 50/50 chance at getting the right answer. Congratulations….now please move on to something else.
8. I don’t care if you think it’s OK for me to have one glass of wine.
I’m the pregnant one….I’m not comfortable drinking anything at all. Plus, I don’t even desire it so why would I drink? It’s my body, my baby….I will do what I think is best.
9. Do not touch!
Unless I have given you the OK or you’re the one that put the baby in there….please do not touch my belly. This especially goes for strangers and people at work. On what planet is it OK to just go around touching people in sensitive areas. You wouldn’t touch my belly if I wasn’t pregnant, why start now? Oh, and I have no idea where your hands have been either.
10. Everyone’s an expert.
I know you had kids…over 30 years ago. Things have changed. I may be much younger than you but please don’t treat me like a child, I am an adult. Don’t tell me what medicine I should take, what food I should eat, what exercises I shouldn’t do….you are not my doctor…in fact you’re not a doctor period. You should not be giving out advice to anyone, pregnant or not. Oh, and just because your body didn’t go back to the way it was pre-pregnancy because you never worked out and started eating takeout 5 nights a week after your kids were born, doesn’t mean I will turn out the same. Don’t tell me I need to sleep while I can….what do you think I do at night? I sleep whenever I can! Some days are busy and I simply don’t have enough hours in that day to get as much sleep as I would desire. I'm trying.
11. Settle down on Facebook!
It’s perfectly fine to leave me a comment here or there, but when you start commenting on everything multiple times a day it starts to get creepy. Are you Facebook stalking me? I love hearing from people but when I have 20 notifications from just you in under an hour it gets a little exhausting having to go through and check it all. Moderation please!
Ok, that’s all I have for now. I know there are a million other things that drive me crazy but I will save them for another day! Thanks for listening to my rant. 18 weeks today!
